After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My penis needs a shock collar
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
