There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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