I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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