dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
