help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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