I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
