He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
COCAINE IS GR8
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
