I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
