So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize