Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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