just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
