Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
