drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
