Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
