im drinking this country out of the recession.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
