Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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