chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
