I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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