too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
