We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
