Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
