The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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