I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
