Pants 0. Shit 1.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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