He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's blow job season.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
