I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
