Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He shit in the fireplace
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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