look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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