How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
