Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
