thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
