You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
