Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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