we have pet lesbian snakes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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