Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
