it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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