Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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