Umm I'm too high to move.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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