Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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