bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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