it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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