i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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