My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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