So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
How external is "for external use only"?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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