Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
