so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
