Porn is love you can see.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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