Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
