We won't sleep together?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
