Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
