a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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