No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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