Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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